Kindness Begins With Me

A check list

From Sweatpants and Coffee.  There’s a lot of great wisdom there.

If you’re anything like me, you’re completely  fed up with the downright ugliness of social media.  To me, what it boils down to is this:

Who I voted for (or who you think I voted for)  does not make it okay for you to insult me. Or anyone else either.  If you disagree with me?  Again, it’s not okay to insult my intelligence, my integrity, or my compassion for others.  If asked for an opinion and I give it?  Let’s just say that STFU is not an appropriate response.  Yes, I’m a woman, but please don’t tell me what I should think just because I am a woman.

There’s a serious lack of filters out there these days and I hate it.  Part of it is social media widens our “circle” to see comments, attitudes, and opinions of perfect strangers who are nothing more than a tiny little box beside their name. For the most part, I think many of these strangers are far too comfortable being rude and insulting to people that they don’t know.  I ask myself this question all the time:  If this conversation happened in line at the coffee shop, would they say this to my face?  Or do they gather their boldness from the anonymity of the on-line arena?  I think it’s probably the latter.  The Pollyanna in me likes to find the good in people but lately that’s been difficult.  And it’s not just with respect to politics that I see the sad decline of civility.  Even on forums dedicated to something as wonderful as sharing the love for our pets, a disagreement over  advice to seek veterinary care often ends up with name calling and nasty comments about the poster’s appearance. (I know.  It’s crazy, right?  And mean.  It’s just mean.)  I bite my tongue on a daily basis rather than get involved in the ugly mess.  When I’m not successful and have lapse in judgment and think maybe my opinion does matter, well, there’s usually someone who comes along to set me straight.  In the end, I’m just not offering up my thoughts publicly all that often anymore.  There’s a lot of toxic comments and as a result, toxic emotions.  Hate is strong word, but there’s an awful lot of it out there these days.  And I have to ask, whatever happened to the Golden Rule?  (And guess what??  It’s not just a Christian thing either.)  This blogger has a great post about it and she is spot on when she says, “Stop for a moment and just imagine the impact it would have if every single one of us throughout the world took the spirit of these guidelines to heart and put them into practice in our day-to-day lives.

Finally, I know that there’s not a lot that I can do about it.  Except this:  I can be kind; kindness begins with me.  And hopefully more people, discouraged by the hate and incivility around us, will eventually opt to be the change they want to see as well.  I fear that without it, we’re sunk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lists. Lists. Lists.

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We all make them.  Or at least many of us do.  The grocery list (which I always leave at home).  The Christmas list.  The weekly meal plan list.  The “honey do” list.  The list goes on and on.  Pun intended.

A.S. Byatt is quoted as saying, “Lists are a form of power.”

I confess that I am a list maker.  I also have a love of blank notebooks and journals.  Not because I’m dedicated to writing down my innermost thoughts, but rather because I write things down that I wan’t to remember.

Quotes.  Books to read.  Books read.  Yarns to try.  Places to visit.  Wines I like.  Gifts to buy.  Brilliant ideas (at least to me).  And all these tidbits are scattered around in various journals.

So it was only natural that about 6 months ago while I was trolling on Pinterest and started to see these journals in my feed, that they caught my eye in a big way.  Lovely, beautiful, filled with doodles, journals that were more like agendas and art all rolled into one.  In case you’ve never heard of it, the phenomenon is called a Bullet Journal, or BuJo for short.  It’s the brainchild of Ryder Carroll, a digital product designer from New York.  I encourage you to look at his website and watch his videos.

THEN go to Pinterest and see what the artsy crowd have done with it. Holy Moly!  That’s what snagged my attention.  I’m a doodler:  I like to play with markers, watercolor pencils, and washi tape.  I admit, that it was a  little overwhelming at first so I started small.  I tiny little notebook that bought at Barnes and Noble.   It’s American-made  (which is a plus) by Gallery Leather in Maine.  I love this little book for its portability.  I used it mainly as a daily log of activities.  Each day I set up the next day’s to-do list and worked from there.  I also added events and such as they happened and played around with some artwork.  It was a small investment to see how I like the BuJo concept.  The only drawback on this one was the pages were lined.

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I used this notebook for just shy of 6 months.  And somewhere along the line I just stopped.  Not sure why or how it happened.  But a few weeks ago I came to the realization that I really was more productive when I had that little book in use.  I decided to give it another whirl:  this time with the “holy grail” of BuJo’s, a Leuchtturm 1917.  It’s a very well made sewn book from Germany that comes in a lot of colors and sizes. And it has lay-flat pages!   I decided to take the plunge and bought the A5 size (dotted pages) in lime green.  It’s a beauty.

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I will start using this journal on daily basis next week.  I’ve only got March set up for now.  I will say that deciding how I wanted to organize it took me quite a while.  Once I’d done a few weekly pages like the one above, they went pretty quickly.

I’m sure as I go along I will find what works for me and what doesn’t work and make some adjustments.   That’s the beauty of a custom notebook.  It’s all YOU.  I saw a somewhat critical reply to a friend on Facebook as she brought up the idea of a BuJo.  Critics will say it’s costly to do, takes too much time, etc.  But for me, like others who enjoy it, the process of making it is part of the pleasure.  As for cost, I only bought the notebook and a couple of rolls of washi tape so I have less than $25 in it.   I had everything else that I’ve used so far.  The pens are a favorite of mine from Staedtler that you can usually pick up at Michaels or Hobby Lobby.  The brush pen I grabbed at Dick Blick in Chicago.  There are few types to choose from online.  And of course, if you check out the website of the creator, his wasn’t artsy at all.  Just functional and tailored to his needs: all he needed was a journal and pen.

And besides keeping you organized. . .journaling has other benefits as well.  Try it!  You might find it’s just what you need.

 

 

 

What are you afraid of?

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Fear.  We all have fears.

Psychologist tell us that all fears can be categorized as one of five basic fears.

  1.  Extinction.  Simple.  This is basically a fear of death or ceasing to exist.
  2. Mutilation.  This one is a little more complex.  It the fear of losing a part of our body, or losing a function of our body, or having its boundaries invades.  They say that many types of anxiety about animals, such as spiders and snakes, fall into this category.
  3. Loss of Autonomy.  Think about a fear of situations that we can’t control.  Being imprisoned, smothered, paralyzed, overwhelmed, or restricted.  Claustrophobia is a classic example but it can also manifest itself in personal relationships as a fear of commitment.
  4. Separation.  Fears of abandonment and not being wanted, respected, loved, or valued  can be devastating to a person.
  5. Ego-death.  Humiliation, shame, and self-disapproval:  the loss of worthiness.  This might manifest itself as a fear of public speaking.  Or perhaps the feeling that your blog might not be worth reading?

Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.  All fears invoke pretty much the same kind of biological reactions: sweaty palms, goosebumps, pounding heart, rapid breathing, etc. Fear is your survival response – the “flight or fight” thing you learned about in high school biology.

Some people actually enjoy being frightened.  Say what??  Horror flicks and Halloween “haunted houses” have never been my thing.  Ditto for scary amusement park rides.  But I will read a scary book.  Does that even make sense?   Hey, they’re MY fears, they don’t have to make sense.

With that in mind, what do I fear?

  1.  Spiders.  (Big or small they are all evil to me.  It’s not a completely irrational fear as I was bitten and had a pretty nasty reaction as a child.)
  2. Car accidents.
  3. Losing someone I love.
  4. Ladders. And heights to a certain degree.
  5. Not being able to scream when I may need to.

And while not a fear really, I really dislike crowds where people I don’t know might bump into me.  It doesn’t scare me – it is rather more of an dislike that irritates the heck out of me.

So what are you afraid of?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alphabet Advice

 

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Ask questions.

Be kind.

Create.  A poem, a garden, a quilt: create what makes you happy.

Doodle often and let your mind wander.

Explore the world around you.

Find happiness.

Go for a run.

Hug your kid often.

Inspire others to be their best.

Jump life’s puddles.

Keep it real.

Love well.

Make a joyful noise.

Never say never.

Open your eyes.

Pick your friends carefully.

Quit whining.

Read a book.  Read MANY books!

Slow down.  Breathe.  Create calm.

Think before you speak.

Use a napkin.

Vanquish negativity.

Write letters – the real kind.  Use a stamp!

X-marks the spot.  Find a place that makes you happy.

Yield when necessary.

Zigzag.  Take time to wander off the path.

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Run and Be Happy

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Rabbit.  Rabbit.  Rabbit.

Here it is February 1st already.  And I’m still staying true to my resolutions.  I have actually increased my yoga home practice as well as added some beginning Pilates.  But there’s one thing I haven’t addressed yet.   Running.

I ran track in high school.  I was a slightly above average “half-miler”.  We still called it the 880 then – that’s how old I am.  I trained more with the distance girls than the sprinters and occasionally ran a leg of the mile relay.  I was so NOT a sprinter!!! I have to admit that I loved the training for track but hated the races.  I wanted to quit almost every day of my sophomore year but it wasn’t allowed.  I had to stick it out.  I’m glad there was the no quitting rule at our house.  Today I am glad.  At the time I was miserable.

In college I ran for “fun”.  I know that some people think that’s laughable.  Or a lot crazy. Maybe both.  But I did find that when I was angry or troubled lacing up the shoes and hitting the road were really helpful.  I’m not sure it ever solved any problems but for that time I was running the issues weren’t issues at all.  And there was something quite peaceful about an empty track at night.

Fast-forward a few years and I was a young, working mother with no time to run.  I gave it a few shots but just found it really hard to work into a busy schedule.  When my son was in 6th grade he joined the junior high cross country team.  And that’s when my running “career” took off again.  It was a necessity.  Anyone who has ever been to a cross country meet knows that the only way to see your child run is to run yourself around the course to different vantage points.  After a few weeks of huffing and puffing, I knew it was time to make a change.  I was still teaching, but I committed to making it work.  In the years I’d taken off, a wonderful thing called the Couch to 5K had come about and it was just what I needed.  It’s evolved from just a plan to  a podcast to an app.  It’s my go-to app for starting up again after a few months off.

Once I left the classroom and had more time, I took my exercise much more seriously. I’ve never really been one for classes.  I’ve tried a few over the years.  Zumba was a disaster!  I learned to love running again.  And then on Halloween 2014 I had an accident that changed everything.  I crushed a vertebra, fractured my sternum, and broke a rib.  Doctors thought I’d been in a car accident and wasn’t telling the truth.  Nope.  I went down a slide.  A big, fast, curvy slide on a playground with a crash and burn landing at the bottom.  I know that I’m so very fortunate that I am walking and doing pretty much what I want. Initially I was told I couldn’t run for 6 months.  You know how when someone tells you that you can’t do something and then that’s all you want to do?  That was me.

The six month marker rolled around and I even then I knew I wasn’t really ready.  It was the middle of summer and I’ve never run much in the hottest of months anyway because of my asthma.  So I cooled my heels until September when I gave it a shot.  The first week went well.  So well that I was really quite thrilled.  The second week was hell.  EVERY SINGLE STEP hurt my back. I felt crushed.  That wasn’t helped by the unpleasant conversations with my doctor who told me  to “get used to the pain” and that my “life has changed”.  That’s when I turned to my surgeon and PT back in Germany and started making some changes.  (Yoga has been the biggest.)  But I hadn’t run again.  Let me tell you, fear really does suck!

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So today I woke up and started thinking about my day and what I was going to do. And I was tired.  And it was cold.  (Can you hear the whining?)  But I decided to give it another try because if I waited for the perfect time . . .  well that probably never happens, right?

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It went well.  I started with week 2.   But ran an extra 4 minutes at the end.  It was cold, but not too cold. I’ve always been more of a cold weather runner and that has it’s own advantages:

  1.  There’s just not many people out on the streets and sidewalks.  This morning I saw one other runner.  One walker and another walking her dog.   And since school is in session and I went after the start time, there’s not much car traffic either.  Avoiding the indoor treadmill at the gym means less exposure to those nasty winter  cold and flu “bugs”. (Treadmills have always hurt my back – even before surgery so I avoid them all year.)  I used to love running in snow but the fear of falling made me wait until our recent snow was gone.  But who know, maybe I’ll get brave and try it again some day.
  2. Cold weather running is far less stressful on your body than hot, humid weather and can improve your endurance plus you can burn more calories since your body is working more to keep your temperature elevated.  That’s a win-win situation.
  3. Running releases “feel good” endorphines that help elevate mood during the cold winter months so it’s a cure for those “winter blues”.  Plus you get your daily dose of vitamin D.
  4. It helps to trick your body’s metabolism to prevent the seasonal slow down that happens during the winter months, as well as fighting the winter weight weight gain that plagues so many people, myself included.

So there you have it.  Running “post-accident” part two.

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It’s in the cards.

I dropped my little Doxie girl at the vet today for a dental and possible some tooth extractions.  I decided a little “girl time” was in order to keep my mind off worrying about her and I headed to my favorite local coffee shop in the hopes that some friends were there.  What a great way to start the morning – a hug from a friend, great coffee, and a card reading.  I know.  I know.  It sounds so weird to most people.  Even to me – since I hadn’t actually ever done it before. But that said, I did love it.  And it’s not all strange “voodoo” – weird – or “witchy” – or any other preconceived notions that some might have. (I suppose that’s possible, but it certainly wasn’t my experience.)

The deck itself was called the Spirit of the Wheel Meditation Deck.  The cards were covered with beautiful illustrations based on the Native American medicine wheel.  Medicine in the Native American culture isn’t a pill to cure what ails you, rather it refers to a force or power that is inherent in nature.  The wheel itself is many things on many levels.

According to Native American tradition it can be a sacred space, an altar, a centering device for one’s consciousness, a protector, a framework in which to honor the forces of nature, and as an aid to meditation.  If the medicine wheel is new to you, I encourage you to check it out.  There are many ways it can be represented using drawings, totems, stones, etc.  It’s often depicted in art and jewelry.  Used in  some ways it’s a bit similar to walking a labyrinth.  Another cool thing to look up if you haven’t before.

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I shuffled the cards and drew out 6.  Those six cards then refer back to a reading from a booklet that explains that card.

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Isn’t that a pretty card??  So what did I learn?  Some cards validated things that I already know about myself. . . that I’m gifted with instincts about others and that I’m an educator at heart.  Three of the cards I pulled illustrated the attributes of learning, sharing, and teaching.  I spent 25 years in the classroom so I found it interesting that three of the six readings focused on those ideas.  Another touched on honesty and emotion with a caution to slow down before speaking.  One card suggested that I had recently conquered something in my life.  I feel that way about my recovery after breaking my back at the end of 2014.  I’m still getting better, but I do feel quite accomplished and have a sort of “look at me NOW” attitude especially where exercise is concerned.  Other ideas were just nice points to ponder and put to use:  to assist elders with compassion, to share my gifts with others,  to nurture my strengths, and look beyond fears to venture into the new and untried.  Aren’t those lessons we can all take something from?

So my first experience with having my cards read was quite fun and interesting.  And as I told my friend afterwards, I found it to be “food for thought” and  a pathway to self improvement and awareness.  And there’s nothing weird about that at all!

 

Resolutions v.2016

 

Resolutions

 

I don’t always make formal resolutions.  But I do reflect.  This year, I chose some things to focus on.

I started taking a yoga class in November.  I love it.  My only regret is that I haven’t been doing it for years.  It’s been a huge help for my back pain.  And I’m getting stronger.  I also find that I’m practicing the breath and and awareness even when I’m not in class.  It’s quite a drive and time commitment to get to the class, so I’m supplementing with at home practice.  I have before, but I’m making it more of a  focus for the coming year.  I started today.

I have a huge attic that’s stuffed with the detritus of children and life.  I’ve made this a focus in years past with some success.  It’s time to work on it again.  It’s hard to let go of old toys that my son loved so much.  Most of what needs gotten rid of is toys and baby stuff.  Some I will keep.  Most will go.  And what’s left needs some organization.  This won’t happen over night, but will be an ongoing project.  It’s cold up there now but I plan to spend at least 30 minutes up there every week.  This will be the hardest goal to keep I think.

Travel more.  Last year didn’t see much travel for the simple reason that I wasn’t physically able to do it.  We took a road trip to the east coast in April that was a little much for me at the time.  A long weekend in Chicago recently.  And a weekend on the motorcycle this past summer.  But I’m healing and am ready to take on more.  Dallas, here we come!

Run again.  This is a biggie for me.  Since breaking my back in October of 2014, I haven’t run.  I wasn’t cleared to run until the summer and  I did give it a rather unsuccessful try in September this fall.  I called my doctor here only to be told by his nurse that I should expect my back to hurt forever.  Those were tough words to hear.  She was cruel and blunt about it.  After drying my tears, I reached out to Germany for help.  My (truly wonderful) physical therapist and surgeon in Heidelberg gave me some suggestions to try and I’ve taken them to heart.  (Yoga was one.)  I have friends who are constantly telling me that I “don’t need to run”.  That’s true.  I don’t.  But I want to run.  For me, I think it’s the thing that will finally mean that my post-accident life is back to normal.  I guess time will tell.

So there you have it.  Resolutions in black and white out there for the world to see.

Happy New Year!

 

 

 

 

Monday Musings

Hello, peeps!  I’m having sort of a lazy Monday morning to finish off a pretty lazy weekend.  I had an acquaintance (notice how I didn’t say friend?)  ask me what I’d “been up to” lately.  I don’t cross paths with this person often so that’s probably a fair question.  A few answers came to mind.

  1.  Well, I’ve spent the last year recovering from a traumatic accident and surgery.
  2. I’ve been solving all the world’s problems like famine, disease, and terrorism.
  3. Spiritually? Physically? Socioeconomically?
  4. I’m alright, slight bruises here and there, nothing i can’t handle (this is probably close to the truth).
  5. Today I’m a rutabaga, but tomorrow I’m thinking I’ll be a coconut.

But what I actually said was, “Nothing much.  Same old stuff.”  This must not have been the answer she was looking for because after few more minutes she repeated the question.  And then followed up with the zinger:

Haven’t you gotten bored yet since you aren’t working?

WHAT?  Bored?  Me?  She must not know me well at all.  Now, you must keep in mind that I have never in 22 years known this woman to “work”.  She stayed home with her children (which is ALL KINDS OF WORK) but did not have a job outside the home.  Then after the divorce, she lived off support from her ex-husband and talked about trying to decide what to do with herself. She did that for years.  And all of that is fine. Fine for her, but apparently not for me because she was all sorts of judgmental about me not working  for the last 6 years.  Never mind that I put in 25 years teaching science to high school students!  In the end, I just shrugged her off and said, “I knit.  I read. I have hobbies. I keep busy.”

But last night at meditation class, a retired friend said, “We are’human beings’ not ‘human doings’.  The meaning of life is to live it fully in each moment.  Our worth doesn’t come from a job.” She makes an excellent point!!  And she also pointed out that they aren’t hobbies at all; they are passions.  And she’s right again!

So here’s what I’ve “been up to” in the last few weeks.

  1.  Hubby and I put in a no-dig fence for  the dogs.  It’s not a tall fence, but it looks nice and works for our two dogs.  The golden is too old and not a jumper or otherwise we would have needed a taller option.
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Shawzy looking out.  She’s adorable, is she not?

2.  I finished up a few knitting projects.  One,  a pair of socks for the hubby (to be discussed at another time) . The other is a baby sweater for a friend.  I think the sweater turned out quite cute.  Entirely made from leftover sock yarn.  One solid gray and the other a self-striping.  Thrifty and cute both.

3.  Exploring local coffee shops.  I take my dog to Pittsfield, IL to be groomed.  While I wait, I support the local economy.  There’s a gift shop, a diner, and a coffee shop that I love there.  Not to mention a few antique shops.   Free Press Coffee and Tea is a favorite.  Great atmosphere (and it’s attached to a historic hotel), good coffee, and even some gluten-free choices (with more to come).  It was pouring down rain last week when I was there so it was a cozy place to kill some time reading and enjoying a breve.  (We did have snow on Saturday though!)

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Free Press Coffee last winter.

While I was there I bought a cup to add to my hand-thrown coffee cup collection.  I love it.  It makes me happy having my tea in it.  Small pleasures.  Isn’t it a beauty?

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Cup by local artists at Crooked Clay Creations.  

4.  Yoga.  I’ve started a gentle yoga class to help improve my core strength in the hope it will alleviate some back pain.  It saddened me a little to feel like the youngest member in the class, but it’s okay.  I like it.  I love the instructor who’s very helpful at guiding me away from moves that might cause me trouble.  She’s one of the those people that you meet and know instantly that you could be great friends. AND, I’ve flexed my stiff spine in ways that it hasn’t been in over a year.  That’s a good thing.  I pay for it a bit afterwards, but that’s getting better too!   I’m only going once a week since it’s a 40 minute drive, but I bought a DVD to try to add a couple of days on my own at home. I’ve committed to 10 weeks and from there we shall see.  Maybe I’ll switch classes or add another class to the schedule.

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A class at my yoga studio.  Not MY class (notice the “youngsters”).  My class would look much more “mature”.

5.  Reading.  Always a given.  But this time I am reading a book that I have looked at many times but always put it back.  I don’t care for the circus.  Never have.  I’m not sure why either.  I just don’t like them. I’m not sure what kept drawing me to this book but I can’t tell you how many times I read the blurb on the back.   We have a locally owned bookstore that I try to support,  so last week I didn’t put the book back on the shelf.  Instead, Andy wrapped it up for me in brown paper.  (I love that old-fashioned nod to times past.)

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Isn’t it lovely?  Sort of like a living room filled with friends.

Anyway, the book that followed me home is The Night Circus.  It’s very well written.  Reads like a dream. . .both literally and figuratively.  It’s not what I expected.  It’s much, much better.  It’s not a dash to the end, it’s more of a slow contemplating read with stops to imagine the magical circus the author has created.  And I think it may be one of those books that I will be sad to see it end.

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6.  Watching Blackhawks hockey with the family!

7.  Getting my pictures in order so that I can begin the scrapbook of last year’s vacation.  I think I’m about ready to start it.  It’s an overwhelming number of pictures to sort through.  Plus the idea of telling the story which turned out so different than we had planned. I know I’ll cry often while I do it.   It’s daunting.  But soon I will get to it.

8.  Laundry.  Cooking.  Cleaning.  Grocery shopping.  And all the other mundane things we do to keep a house running.

9.  Tangling.  Doodling.  And drawing.

10. Cleaning up the yard and raking leaves.  I love my big trees – but oh my- the number of leaves to rake!

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The front yard leaves.  Doesn’t include the back yard at all.  That’s a ditch under there.

11.  Sometimes I just sit in my chair with the dog on my lap.  Small pleasures. (Again.)

So!  That’s what I’ve been up to.  It’s been pretty damn awesome too.  Part of me wonders if that acquaintance can say the same.

 

OMG – The Agony

That would be the agony of grocery shopping.  I detest just about everything about it.   A few random thoughts – well maybe they might be better classified as pet peeves.

1.  When you’re spanking beating your kid’s ass in the aisle of ALDI and he’s laughing like a maniac – well it’s obviously not effective.  Seriously, this mom was thumping on her kid.  She stopped traffic in the store – literally.   He was maybe 5 years old and he continued to laugh, not one yelp or tear.  I get that the laughter might really send a certain kind of parent into a frenzy, but it was completely inappropriate.  Not to mention awkward for everyone else who witnessed it.  And then she pulled out all the stops and said, “I have my phone in my hand.  I’m calling your dad.”  I don’t even know what to say – except it does make me happy that I’ve retired from teaching.

2. People who just stand in front of a refrigerated case and stare like they’ve never seen cottage cheese before?  There are exactly TWO kinds at ALDI – so there’s really no big choice to make.  You can see me waiting for you to move so I can get MY cottage cheese and yet you don’t move.  You looked at me no less than three times while I waited patiently.   And waited.  And waited.  (And their whole entourage actually took up most of the entire area while one person picked through all the yogurt for the right flavors.) Maybe I need to be more assertive and ask them to move?

3.  I actually like to bag my own groceries, but I’d pay extra for someone to come home and put the damn things away.

4.  Is it ever really okay to sample the produce??  I don’t think so.  How do you tell them to charge you for two more grapes?  Not to mention that the stuff hasn’t been washed yet.  Ewwwwwwww.

5.  Yes, I bring my own bags.  Deal with it.  (This isn’t a problem at ALDI, Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods where it’s expected and normal – only at other places where they just want you out of there as soon as possible.)

6.  The cart with the gimpy wheel.  You know the one!!  The wheel that refuses to turn and actually works like a brake on the cart.

7.  The way the store might have nine checkout lanes with one two open and people lined up for miles.

8.  Leaving the store to find a shopping cart resting against your car.

9.  Oh, and I forgot the damn list.  Again.

Alright.  Enough whining.  I’ve got to go put the groceries away. . .

Love and Mothers


Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. ~Aristotle

This quote has always made me chuckle a bit – I think mostly because it’s attributed to Aristotle and to think that there were doubts about paternity even three centuries before Christ.   And I see tons of memes on Facebook that deal with a mother’s love for her child.  Or a child’s love for his (or her) mother.  All very nice.  Many make me say “awwwwww” even.   But then I came across this blog post and found it truly fascinating. I think science has finally validated what all mothers have known instinctively.  When I was pregnant with my son 23 years ago, What to Expect When You’re Expecting was a relatively new book.  I must have read the entire thing multiple times over.  I really wish this book was out there then.  The science geek in me would have relished the details on the “evolutionary why” things happen the way they do.  In the end, it confirms what I have always known in my heart. . . that my son (and the two children that I miscarried as well) and I linked on more than just an emotional level. Bottom line. . . our children are not just little versions of ourselves that we protect, raise, and set free – they are really a physical part of us –forever.

Vintage 1996

Vintage 1996